went to my docs on thursday, signed off for another 2weeks. he also told me that if i want to have kids that i should get a move on a pop them out b4 in 23, 25 at the lastest! so they can then take everything out of me and stop my pain for good. thing is... i dont know if i want a baby. well child. a person. its not like picking up more bread over xmas and putting in the frezzer just in case you fancy it. its life. and i just dont know. all i do know is that i want my pain to stop. not just the eno, all of it. the deep pain, the pain i 4get about untill im alone in the dark at night. maybe this is what i get. another choice to make. a life thats never lived isnt worth living. ive cleaned my whole house. ment to be resting, only light is the glow from my mac, only sound the typing of the keys. and only thought. i dont want a baby.